As you probably already know, you’re not the luckiest of people. You got sent into the country of Dracula and you get to talk to our prime-minister, who, by the way, also comes from Transylvania. Don’t laugh. The little guy can be very insistent. He’s still a prime-minister in spite of the Parliament booting him once . You could’ve had an historic mission saving Greece, the cradle of democracy, but instead you got stuck with us. I’m sorry for that.
To make things easier for you here are some things you might wanna know and do in order to get out of here with a sense of accomplishment:
– First and foremost call Poul Thomsen. He used to work for the IMF and after being locked in, for days in a row, in 14 hour meetings with mr Ciorbea, a predecessor of the current prime minister, he probably left the secular world in search of redemption. He’s probably still somewhere in India or Jerusalem trying to understand what he’s done so wrong that he received such a harsh punishment. I’m sure you’ve noticed the multitude of churches around Bucharest. We ask the same question, every day for the last 20 years.
-Don’t believe anything you hear. We have a long tradition of saying one thing and doing another.
-Be tough. Exceed your mandate. Yell at the little guy, pretend to smack him. He’s used to that.
– And if you really wanna make an impression go to the presidential palace and go berserk there. You know, in Romania there is this president-dude who used to be a sailor. He understands very well that kind of an attitude. I should warn you, he will fight back. But if you manage to scare him, we will be in awe and you can run for president here.
-About vampires. They don’t suck blood anymore. They are very fond of public money. Just look at the some of government members’ faces. Pretend that the IMF wants to manage the Romanian budget for a year. They will be so weakened that they will fade away in the eternity. They cannot live away from the budget. After a couple of months they will turn to dust and to oblivion. (The movie „Interview with a vampire” is actually a fable about Romania’s budget and the quest for undeserved money)
– Go to the National Bank and ask the grey-haired dude there what’s wrong in Romania. He usually speaks gibberish but he knows what to do. Last time he was a prime-minister (yeah, he was there too) he was so good that he only lasted for a year. After him, we got stuck with Adrian Nastase, a cousin of Aleksandr Lukashenko who loved art and the decadent french bourgeoisie which he tried to replicate without much talent.
Dear Jeffrey,
I hope this was of some help to you. You might wanna know that the little guy and his friends have a habit of telling us, behind your back, that you want us to raise taxes and that you insisted for the crucifixion of Christ. I’m sure that’s not true and I wish you all the best,
T
daily teo 
yeah, but you know, aviara gripa!
And, Dear Mr. Franks, you’ll also find plenty of little guys with nothing to do best than writing silly stuff on what we call ‘blogs’ all day long. They used to write in newspapers, but since people turned away from their circus, they lost they jobs and became ‘virtual’.
ALEGERI ANTICIPATE – ALTFEL MAFIOTUL BASESCU SI GASCA LUI DE SECURISTI-MAFIOTI TREBUIE DATI JOS CU FORTA
Dear Jeff, please don’t talk with Emma Nicholson!And be careful with mr. FART(escu)
10+. Cu permisiunea d-lui Tita l-as si prelua. Una din cele mai tari chestii scrise despre rRomania ever.
Some small spelling mistakes ( I’m sure i would do far worse ) but the message is most excelent. Please do translate it, it’s a pity that not everyone can understand this beautiful although sad satire.
Fii sincer, Teodor Tita: nu-i asa ca itzi iei banii pe „drepturi de autor” (4% impozit) ca sa nu versi sange (impozit 16%) la bugetarii aia ticalosi – profesori, medici, politzisti, etc etc? Da-i in aia masii, sa se „descurce” si ei ca tine….
Bravo, Teo.
Foarte foarte taaaaare, sper sa ajunga sa o citeasca si omul cu banii, poate chiar vorbeste cu caruntu, ca nu iese chiar gibberish din gura lui. Cheers
🙂 🙂 🙂
@Mihai Dumbrava: relaxeaza-te.
@Alegeri Anticipate: urmatorul comentariu de felul ala ajunge direct in trash
@Florina, Catalin, Mihaita: sar’na frumos
@Wolfman: e ok, cata vreme precizezi sursa
@Comentator: nu!
Dear Mr. Franks. Thre are some very useful advice in this article. One more thing ,though. Our beautiful and lovely country is also known as „The Land Of Choice”. I can’t remember who said that first, but that person surely knows what to deal with. So dear Mr. Franks, as long as you’re still here you have options, choices:
no.1: Tell the little dude fom the government to take his toys and get the f*** out of there.
no.2: Talk to his daddy if the little guy is getting nasty. I assume you know what „Daddy” i’m talking about.
no.3: Hire a guy called Aliodor Manole to solve all your problems , You can find him in the big house where daddy lives.
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Ce engleza de dambovita, bro :)))
@Teodor Tita: eu INTOTDEAUNA precizez sursa, cu link si tot ce trebuie, in rarele momente cind, personal, preiau. Mersi mult!
@folfoniu: eh! 😛
@Mihai Dumbrava: nothing better to do, nu ”nothing to do best than”, if you wanna make fun of the article and author.
@ALEGERI ANTICIPATE – ALTFEL MAFIOTUL BASESCU SI GASCA LUI DE SECURISTI-MAFIOTI TREBUIE DATI JOS CU FORTA
da tu de pe care planeta esti ?
„I should warn you, he will fight back. ”
I would add:
„don’t forget to take a set of BIG b_lls with you if you do that. you’ll need them.”
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Dear Teo,
You are a Romanian „Taliban”. You shocked Mr. Jeffrey Franks with your stupid article.
There is maybe only one possible explanation for your approach: you never ever worked with high ranked officials from international institutions and therefore you could not understand their attitude, their behavior.
Now it’s clear for me why IMP quickly submitted a press release today in which it was reiterated the explanation that IMF did not impose any actions to Romania. Horrible!!! Shame on you!
This is unbelievable, it’s like a Taliban attack in the middle of New York.
No more comments for a stupid guy that believes that is „smart”.
@eu*****: you don’t get it, do you? 😛
Dear mr. franks, f.u.c.k you and your IMF, who tries to enslave us. I am sure that after you die, you and Dominique Strauss Kahn and all the other jews and men from masonery will rot in hell, because that’s what you really deserve. In order to enslave a nation, in order to enslave people, you will do almost anything. You might have a good life on Earth, but Satan awaits for you in hell. I know your interest regarding Romania is not that this country will pass the crisis, you want us to go deeper into the crisis, so that you will lend us even more money, with a higher interest and alog with even more idiotic conditions. Anyway, your place in Hell is booked especially for you and all the other idiots from the New World Order. One day, your power will be over and Venus Project will save the world. So, happy rotting in Hell, mr frannks !!!Hopa, Tita asta incearca sa ma cenzureze. De ce, dom’le Tita, nu-ti place adevarul??? Nu-ti convine cand oamenii spun lucrurilor pe nume??? Ce fel de societate libera e aia in care tu cenzurezi comentariile oamenilor, le cenzurezi dreptul la libera exprimare??? Ipocritule !!!
@Cineva: nu „incearca”, chiar te cenzureaza. mai citeste tu un pic despre limitele libertatii si apoi discutam. Pe blogul asta conspiratia iudeo-masonica e binevenita. Tu, nu.